Cafe Enoma

Life Lessons Life Lessons

Relation is like a bird. If you catch tightly, it dies. If you catch it loosely, it flies. But if you catch affectionately, it remains with you forever.

'No' and 'yes' are short words which need long thought. Most of the trouble in life are the result of saying 'Yes' too soon and 'No' too late.

Yes Sheila, i had felt the same many times, whenever hard time comes in life, that time was always followed by some good things in life, so always be happy and hopeful.
Sheila's 9/8/9:36pm - 11/8/10:27pm

Very beautiful! Excellent way of putting it. Thank you Munira for sharing it.
Munira's 11/8/1:21am - 11/8/3:30pm

Everyday is special.
No one is in charge for your happiness except you.

life is really short wasting time hatting someone

Once there was an island where all the feelings lived together one day there came a storm in the sea and the island was about to drown every feeling was scared but love made a boat to escape all the feelings jumped in the boat except for one feeling love go down to see who it was it was ego.Love tried and tried but ego didnt move everyone asked love to leave ego and come in the boat but love was ment to love it remained with ego all other feelings were left alive but love died because of ego.Think over it.

Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Definitely Sheila. When bad things happen in our life..we should always keep in mind that for every up there is a down and for every down there is an up...So there will be an end point for the bad things also and then the graph reverses and takes a U turn..

Also i see that even when bad things are happening around me there are good things also happening. My mind is so preoccupied with the bad that i am unable to acknowledge the good.
Sheila's 9/8/9:36pm - 10/8/10:15am

Whenever something bad happens in your life or in your family, do not loose hope. Because for all good people God permits bad things to happen and then He will change that curse to a great blessing. Many times, I have experienced this in my life. Many bad things have happened and at that time, I will not know why I have to face that. After my experience in life, I have clearly understood that the more I suffer, God has some very great reward or blessing after that. Whatever bad thing happened, will be turned out to be good for me. This is my experience in life.

A friend who understands your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile.

In extremely simple words you put the WORRY in it's place.
Vinay's 8/8/3:30pm - 8/8/5:02pm

Absolutely right, Vinay. The most common thing during Open House is parents taunting their kids and comparing them with other children. It happens daily in the residential societies. I feel sick! When someone compares himself/herself with anything of mine. Most times people who compare their lives with others don't even know everything about that person's life. They only look at the bright side. Just because the opposite person does not show his/her miseries doesn't mean his life is 'bed of roses'. Only a few sensible people understand and know that everyone's life consist good and bad both. And they must design their life as per their own convenience not to suit their comparison and jealousy.
Vinay's 8/8/3:37pm - 8/8/5:01pm

Ha ha ha...... simply superb. Worrying has now become daily routine of ninty percent of population ..... your sharing is really useful. Thank you Vinay.
Vinay's 8/8/3:30pm - 8/8/3:51pm

Very rightly said Kirti. This is what I insist in all the Parents' meeting in the school. The mistake that the parents make usually is comparing their children with some other children. They don't compare the past performance of the children with the present performance at all.
Each of us should understand that my competition is not with anyone else except myself.
Kirti's 5/8/1:01pm - 8/8/3:37pm

Scene 1."Do you have a problem?"
"Then, why to worry?"
Scene 2. "Do you have a problem?"
"Can you solve it?"
"Then, why to worry?"
Scene 3. "Do you have a problem?"
"Can you solve it?"
"Then what is the use of worrying?"

Do not share too personal things with others. Because, it may collapse your family set up as a whole.

Never compare yourself with anyone. I have learnt that one must never ever compare himself/herself with anyone. Parents must not compare their children with other's children. Each one of us is unique in our own way and by comparing we look at the only good sides of others and bad sides of us. This makes us feel bad and dissatisfied. Comparison also crops up jealousy among people. That is why one must know his/her qualities and life purpose and should not try to borrow others life purposes by comparing.

Very true. As Jesus said, let not the left hand know what the right hand gives.
When we give something in charity or help, let it not be advertised, and when we get a help from someone, acknowledge it tell that to all.
Soosamma's 3/8/1:57pm - 3/8/4:53pm

I agree...either help selflessly or don't help at all.
Soosamma's 3/8/1:57pm - 3/8/4:28pm

So much learned in life
.Most important is, if we help someone to come up in life, don't expect they will ever appreciate you. Just don't expect anything in return.

I've learned to go with the flow in daily life. During most of my young adult years, life would be busy and well planned, this did not leave much room for golden opportunities that happen to drop right into our laps but we don't do anything with it because we are so busy doing something else. But since my marriage to my beloved life, an expert in Mindfulness, I have started living day by day, more in the moment, enjoying the now, loving every minute, and making the most of today...

Don't blindly believe product reviews and raving testimonials. Always find out more. Dig deeper. In the last 2 years, we have been using Dabur Red Toothpaste to brush our teeth every day. We, like Millions of others in India, would use Colgate earlier. But we found Dabur Red to be a lot more effective in actually cleaning our teeth and keeping it clean till the next morning. It's easily better than Colgate and comes at a cheaper price too. So even though there are many customers who still say Colgate is better, they say it because they haven't even bothered to try something else. Sad.

We came to this world with the fear of not knowing anybody, but we will go from here with tears after knowing everybody!
That's called life!

When our diet is wrong, medicine is of no use.
When our diet is correct, medicine is of no need!

If you have some thing big to achieve in this life, pursue it with grit and determination. Never give up easily. The success comes to those who usually persevere in their goals.

Most of us lose heart and give up when we come across a few hurdles on our way. That is because we do not have the perseverance of purpose.

Flipkart has now become India's largest online store now. Ten years ago two young upstarts started the website about ten years ago. The secret of their success is perseverance despite odds and setbacks.

Life always teaches good lessons along it's way. And such lesson remains our life time guide and helps us to move forward in the right path. Sir, no worries. Your true intention is not taken in the right spirit. That's OK, all in the game of life. I was once instructed by a well wisher, 'anything of free, the value is not known'.......may be the applicants may not know the value.
Savio's 24/7/8:38pm - 29/7/3:05pm

We realize how tough we are mentally when we go through stressful situations. That is the time we realise how strong we are mentally. "Never give up" attitude works wonders.

I couldn't agree more. Taking time off helps not only in reducing ones anger but also in realizing if one is at a fault.
Savio's 24/7/12:20pm - 24/7/8:52pm

Good decisions sir. Actually one who is very much interested to become a counsellor, will be able to afford to pay this fees. As you noticed, those people who really try to get the free courses are those who actually can afford the course fee. May be from the applicants you will be able to find out the real economically backward people and allow some sort of fee concession only to the deserving ones.
Savio's 24/7/8:38pm - 24/7/8:48pm

Do not keep blaming others for the mistakes you make. You get caught sooner or later and everyone around will not want to listen to you or even be around you for being the liar that you truly are. For a change, be honest, don't reveal the "sorry" way your parents brought you up on a public forum. There is always someone watching and action will be taken.

Around 15 days ago, we at SDC Enoma had decided to offer our online counseling courses for free or at a reduced price to all Indians who were from humble backgrounds or had prior experience in social or charitable work. We received more than 100 applications within the last two weeks much to our delight. Almost all these applications were for our free counseling skills course. After wasting many hours going through each application, we were surprised to see that almost all of these applicants were well off and could easily afford any of our courses. Further, we found out that more than a quarter of the applicants made up unique stories of their so-called past charity work. After wasting two weeks of our time on these worthless applicants we realized that perhaps this is not the right time or method to offer our years of painstakingly created courses for free or ridiculously cheap prices. Maybe most applicants don't understand how much SDC Enoma stands to lose by offering our years of expertise in counseling training to them for free. So, starting today, all our courses are back to being paid. Further, we might increase the fees of all our courses so that the 1500 hours our course directors invest into these courses each year is actually worthwhile for us at SDC Enoma.

"A wise old owl sat on an oak,
The more he saw, the less he spoke,
The less he spoke, the more he heard,
Why aren't we like that wise old bird."

I learnt as a child the reason why God has given us two eyes is to see better, two nostrils to breathe better, two ears to hear better but one mouth to talk less and talk only good things. If you have nothing worthwhile or good to talk then it is better to be quiet and listen.

Do not react in anger and haste. Whenever someone hurts you or does something to make you angry, then take time off from the situation or person, don't react to it at that time. Once you've taken time off, you will be able to understand the situation or person better and react accordingly. In fact, there may not be a reaction at all as you will realize it's part of life. Such things.

There was a similar case that happened to one of my friends too. He was asked to pay a fine to restart his accounts. It is a shame that they are able to block our hard-earned money without even intimating to us.
Savio's 20/7/9:45pm - 21/7/11:51am

Be extremely careful about your money saved inside private bank accounts in India. It has come to our attention that most private banks (mainly HDFC and SBI) are openly cheating their customers and imposing hefty fines for things like not updating your KYC. HDFC Bank is one of these banks which has recently being blocking accounts of lakhs of customers and imposing a fine for getting it re-activated due to the above mentioned reasons. Just two weeks ago, the major scam of bank employees cloning customer debit and credit cards then using it to withdraw money from ATMs was covered on a leading news network (Times Network). I spoke to a friend who works in HDFC Bank at a senior position and she informed me that all private banks have been given a free hand by the Modi government to do such things and play games with their customers. I don't think that these rumors can be false because I have read shares on WhatsApp with complete details of account numbers and holders names mentioned in it. Also, the most shocking part of this is that your account will be blocked without even giving any intimation given. This is completely illegal. I feel ashamed to live in a country where such daylight robberies are being done openly due to the support of the central government.

A useful life lesson to share, Prerna. Being active, staying busy, not whiling the entire day away, doing what you like to do, all these are the vital ingredients to living a good life. This post is also useful for our readers who might have lost a loved one recently.
Prerna's 18/7/3:18pm - 18/7/5:44pm

I would like to talk about an Aunt of mine who inspires me. She is a cook book writer and ex-editor of a publishing company. She is a very outgoing,well read , lively person who loves travelling.

After the loss of her husband last year, we were all worried whether she would go into depression as they were very very much in love and close to each other. But I was very happy to see her very independent and back to her usual gymming, cooking, public speaking and travelling routine soon. She told me something which is very touching, sensible and true. The reason why she is so full of life and busy and active is because she has been like that all her life and cannot stay idle. In her words she might fall sick if she does. She enjoys life to the fullest and is always happy because that is how her husband always wanted her to be. She says if he is watching her from heaven he will be happy there knowing she is happy here.

Children are like wet clay. They can be moulded while the clay is wet. Once the clay dries it becomes strong and rigid. It can break but cannot be moulded easily.
Dolphi's 13/7/4:58pm - 13/7/8:22pm

Character building consists of a few essentials that teach you to live well while letting others live. Once you master these elements the life goes on a simple and straight path.

Character building should start early in children. The age old wisdom says that you cannot bend a plant when it is grown into a solid tree.

This is very true Vinay! People waste things for what they have not paid or whatever is been provided for free. I don't understand how does the value of that food becomes low when you are not paying for it? It is still food and can satisfy your need for nutrition and fill your stomach. The food is food whether for free or you pay for it. One should respect food not just the money.
Vinay's 30/6/5:00pm - 3/7/3:24pm

Very rightly said Sheila. The real character of a person is when he is in the dark, or when he is alone watched by no one.
Sheila's 28/6/9:57pm - 3/7/3:12pm

I have a daughter who is married. Definitely she must be watching how I treat my old mother. She must be learning from me. I have to be careful to teach only good to her. How I treat my mother, will be repeated by my daughter towards me. How nicely life teaches you to be kind to all!

Yesterday evening we went to attend a wedding reception. There was a very big crowd, and the food was awesome. The people kept on taking the food whether they wanted or not, just to fill their plates. I just watched many of them just taking the food in their plates, eating half of it and dumping the rest of the food in the bin to get the next variety. Real waste of food. I thought they should realise how many lakhs of people starve for lack of money to get food! I really felt annoyed, but helpless.

Just now, I was reading about social psychology and this came to my mind.
When a person is in a group, his behavior is different. His thinking, acting everything may be different. He will also be very cautious about himself of not making any mistakes as he will be observed by the society around him.
The real character study of a person has to be self assessed by him, when he is alone. Because only when a person is alone, his true self comes out. So, a careful study of his thoughts, his mind, his concentration thinking etc. where it is wandering. What does he do? Does the mind makes him to do any mischief etc. or how is his character. Is he disciplined when he is alone. Is he thinking only good thoughts or any bad thoughts coming to his mind etc. has to be analyzed by his own self. When a person is really good and disciplined in all his attitude even when he is alone, then he can be considered to be good. It is ideal to do this self-assessment fortnightly once and accessed where he is weak and lacking. Some concentration can be done upon that to rectify his mistakes of his attitude and then again it can be reviewed after a month during his loneliness. This sort of exercise will help us to purify ourselves and overcome any defaults or mistakes or do corrective action to go step further towards perfection.

When you do what you love nothing else matters. As long as one can keep sailing without much difficult doing what makes them happy, money or no money shouldn't really change anything.
Savio's 20/6/12:03am - 20/6/1:06pm

Life is always good, when we perceive good. When all miseries/mishaps of life are taken to be good, sure no worries can conquer our self. This lesson of life is learned from every other life's challenging moments of mine. Alas, forgetfulness is human short coming. Need to memorize this lesson of life to keep my balance at equilibrium position.

I've learned that we must keep moving forward in the direction of our dreams especially if we are enjoying the journey towards our destination every single day. An example of this life lesson comes from my passionate hobby of content writing. Cafe Enoma is one such project which is a big part of this writing hobby. And as such I don't make a single rupee for sharing these numerous messages with you. But this hasn't ever stopped me from creating more and more content for our readers since I've realized that it is often worth paying a lot of money to keep doing something that truly makes you happy. And so I keep writing every single day on some site or the other since there are few things that make me as happy as content writing does. By the way, through years of experience I can also add that when you keep doing the things you love then the money automatically follows. Maybe it's God way of being fair to every single one of us.

Very true Kirti mam, why we want to change others when we know that every person changes from his/her own experiences. We can guide or tell them what is right and wrong but ultimate decision is theirs. We should accept everyone, as they are, with their positives and negatives.
Kirti's 19/6/3:07pm - 19/6/4:45pm

Very true Sheila, we often expect too much and to satisfy our expectations we try to change someone's personality or their own identity. Even if someone is bad, he/she is bad for himself/herself. We can't expect them to change because we feel embarrassed in front of people because of them or we chose to be with them in spite of knowing they aren't what we thought they were. We have the right to make our decisions and design our own life, we do not have the liberty to design someone else's life unless we are the parents and it our own child who is growing up when we teach them what is wrong and what is right.
Sheila's 19/6/3:11pm - 19/6/3:21pm

Absolutely right Kirti. We cannot change the attitude of a person by force. It all comes within them to change by learning from their mistakes. Every human will have some good and some bad qualities within them. It is up to us to take their good qualities and come out of the situation. Because, once we start speaking of the bad things, then it will lead to unpleasantness and misunderstandings. Ideal way is to come out quietly from them. We can pray for them.
Kirti's 19/6/3:07pm - 19/6/3:11pm

I notice people or rather family members trying to change another member of the family when they feel that person is wrong or not good from their point of view. But, what I have learnt is, no matter how much you try to change another adult, you will fail and will be stressed out in the process. Try to learn to accept that person as he/she is or stay away if you can't accept. Because the nature of a person never changes, no matter what. What changes in a person is the habits of doing things. The way a person thinks or perceives does not really change by someone trying to change is externally.

Right Sir, we should not keep blind faith on our maids or any other person, usually such people try to cheat us and then nothing remain in our hand instead of regretting.
Savio's 16/6/3:25pm - 18/6/10:41pm

I learned that my Gardner does not do his work properly. So I checked him out and I started doing myself. This taught me a lesson.

I've learned never to trust another human being so much so that you are robbed or cheated or taken for a Royal ride by them. Someone very close to me would make the mistake of trusting her servant too much. As a result, she recently discovered that her servant had robbed more than 2 lakhs worth of gold and gone permanently to her village. The joke of the matter is that she recently realized that this gold was missing when her servant had robbed it 5 months ago. Pure carelessness and blind trust. The further irony of this case is that she needs some urgent money right now and does not gave enough because this gold was robbed.

It is never being too cautious while walking the busy streets or while crossing them. The traffic has increased tremendously during the past few years as people have moved from costly city areas to cheaper suburbs, and many high rise apartments have come up in the vicinity.

If we don't get what we aspired to get, we should think that it is God's will. We can also assure us that God has better plans for us. May be He has plans to give us something better.

I've learned only to associate with like-minded people. It is a pure waste of my precious time to invest it with those who cannot help me fulfill my life purpose. I live a relaxed and comfortable life mainly due to me being able to move forward towards fulfillment of my purpose everyday. Any human who does not help me grow and prosper is not the right person to spend my time with.

This time again the small town of Kota sent almost fifty percent of the aspirants to the IITs. It would be worthwhile to find out how they did it so that others can learn from their secret.

Those who are earning a steady monthly income should not lose time in giving thought to save a little for the future. Keeping aside a small amount in a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) is the easiest and the most practical way of saving for a retirement kitty.

There have always been people who try to teach us what is right and wrong when they themselves don't live a life of righteousness. They go around preaching to the world about God, life, work and everything in between but a closer look at their own lives reveals that they are hardly good role models to learn from. How then do we know who to learn from and who not to? Well, the answer is simple. Take advice and suggestions only from those who share lessons that directly connect with you, your personality, your life, etc. Take anything that helps you grow especially if it's free. Keep learning, keep growing and this cafe environment is the finest place on the internet to start your voyage into the land of learning and development.

I've learned that whenever I have spent time in reading blogs online then I am always more aware of important psychological topics that connect directly with my pivotal role of a counselor in everyday life. Not just blogs, but reading every single message, thought, and post that has been published on Cafe Enoma is a daily habit of mine. Even when I am outside at a coffee shop with a friend, I quickly hop onto the cafe when she or he gets busy on the phone when a call or message comes in. Learning must never stop and one of the best ways to learn is to keep on reading blogs and posts like these on the internet. Those who don't read this message (and there are quite a few of our members who won't) will never realize how much they are missing out on by investing a few hours of their time each week on reading these messages and posts on the brilliant Cafe Enoma.

Be content with simple accomplishments. Living anonymously a simple and non-eventful life without any meteoric showers all the time itself is a great accomplishment.

All humans and animals are gifted with instincts. These are built into them during the course of thousands of years of evolution. They enable us to respond with quick action to tricky situations.

Always increase your knowledge and keep learning more and more. Whether it is a career or a hobby you are pursuing. I've seen quite a few students I've trained in Counseling over the years boast about being a professional counselor without actually having enough knowledge about theoretical topics in their field of practice. It saddens me when a student narrowly passes their exams and somehow completes their course with us and then go out there to counsel others. In such cases, I wish to say them, get yourself counseled first because you aren't theoretically sound enough to help others with serious issues in their lives.

Thinking beings from ancient times have observed that we are not left helpless with mere rocks and stones to eat. The provision for our sustenance has already been made before our arrival on this earth.

Some people have the extreme endurance to go through the most difficult circumstances. However, ordinary people can reach greater heights if they pursue little things step by step with unvarying tenacity.

When we are speaking even to our own kids we have to be careful. We may not speak intentionally to hurt them, but they take it serious. Everyday I learn something in life.

Learn from your mistakes. It's perfectly fine to make mistakes but not so good to keep repeating the same mistake again and again. In my lifetime, I've tried many new and different things, as a result of which I've encountered several failures along the way, from each of those failures I have learned something valuable, sometimes in one failure I've learned more than a dozen different lessons, all valuable by itself, after learning from those mistakes and failures, I've learned that failing is nothing to be ashamed of or even worry about, but repeated failures when you could have easily corrected it the next time itself is just wrong. Even the great and humble Edison said that he did not fail while inventing the electric light bulb, he just learned that there were 10,000 different ways you don't invent one.

I have read that wild animals do not kill their prey unnecessarily. They hunt only when they are hungry.Without anyone telling them, they are aware of the marvelous economy of nature's food chain.

There are never failures in life; only the pauses. Collect yourself, pick up your tools and get ready for the onward journey.

When you help somebody , do not expect anything back.

I'm just nineteen so my life is at its earlier stages. However, there are quite a few lessons that I've learnt. The two most important lessons which strike me straightaway are what I'd like to share. The first lesson is to be able to say no. When we learn to say no, we stop appeasing others and remain righteous at the same time. The second one is to just do something. We often spend more time thinking about something rather than just doing it.

The young ones are protected and cared for by animals and humans as well. When I see little infants in their mothers' arms, I notice that they feel absolutely safe and secure.

During my school days, I happened to be very good at Biology so much so that my class teacher one day called me to her desk during the class and told me that one day I would become a top biologist due to my immense knowledge of biology. To that I thought, why doesn't thus teacher become a biologist instead of teaching biology to me. Long story short, don't go around telling others what to do with their lives when you could not do so well in life yourself.

Walking the busy streets of the surrounding area needs a lot of caution. Everyone is trying to maneuver the streets ith some fear and trepidation. The youngsters seem to be reckless with their motorbikes.

It is easy and convenient to get things done from a short-term perspective. But always take the time to consider the long-term effect of your decisions.

Whenever you get pains in your life. Just think about full form of pains " Positive attitude in negative situations" remember this difficulties come in life to go.

Every day is a chance to learn something from daily life.

Right Gomathi, nature has made us this way, inspite of all the tiredness we cannot let anyone suffer due to us. So, its good to remain fit and healthy and work with full energy and efficiency.
Gomathi's 2/6/12:03pm - 2/6/3:55pm

Everyone tries to do his best, unknowingly if any mistake is done, one should accept it and have peace in their mind.
Vinay's 2/6/2:42pm - 2/6/3:51pm

Life has taught me not to do any mistakes knowingly. And in case I do, admit it openly, and relieve the tension or fear whatever I have. That brings in peace and a sense of relief.

'You cannot escape from doing good deeds, you nature is built this way. Sometimes you may go tired, but however you have to do your duty good. So be fit by body and mind....and go ahead with full inner strength and fit physic'.......when I go tired doing my responsibilities, my inner voice says this......ha ha no escape......learning the art of handling too many things good and balanced by my effective time management system. However, God you should be my co-partner in assisting me in the right path and sharing few responsibilities of mine, when I am really tired....done.....ha ha ha.

I got very important lesson these days, never let your eyes away from roadside for a second while driving otherwise it can lead to major accident.

Wise people do not exhaust their resources at one go. They know that leaner days follow the plentiful ones, just as the night follows the day. They make adequate provisions when the going is good to tide over the leaner days.

Some people do a lot of manual work to earn a small, hand-to-mouth livelihood. Those who do arm-chair jobs sitting in air-conditioned offices are either lucky by birth or have attained the position through hard work.

Positivity is a big morale booster. Every day is a fresh day with infinite new possibilities. For that matter, we have to learn a lot from the birds and animals. Never think it is the end of the world.

Always try to remain happy and keep smile on your face, because it can give happiness to many person.

Each day we learn something new or something different through our encounters with people, place or through reading, sharing experiences and so on. It is good to keep our minds and heart open, to obtain the goodness from people and leave of their bad habits and not take it to our heart. On the other hand, also, if they are our best friend, we can politely guide them to come out of their bad habits.

Keeping oneself on a steep and steady path does not require a hell of an effort. The momentum of the character that you have built until then drives you up smoothly.

I've learned that when I live beneath my means then I am always happy. For there is nothing that I want which isn't met by my meager income. Life is beautiful when we realize that we must spend only based on how much we have earned in the month. Of course, there is also the need to save a little each month so that you end up with a lot of savings whenever you need to make the most of big opportunities that come your way.

Life has taught me in the hard way not to trust anyone blindly. I learned that lesson quite some years back through my own experience.

Once again, it is a reminder to the young people to plan their lives well right from the beginning of their earning career. All old timers know well that long-term financial stability is the first thing to consider once you start earning.

When we are young and exuberant, we feel that this condition will prevail forever. Little do we realize during such heady times that everything in this world is transitory; the youthfulness will fade and the strength will wane away.


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