Right Gomathi, we should give equal rights to kids to keep their point of view in front of parents, it will build up stronger relation too.
Gomathi's 17/8/11:26am - 17/8/4:39pm
Certainly Kirti. I usually discuss things with my daughter, surprisingly, some words of her always helped me a lot. You are right, children think from their own brain. They are not yet corrupted.
Kirti's 17/8/1:31pm - 17/8/2:55pm
Absolutely right Gomathi, children have great ideas and very unique way of viewing things. My son stuns me quite often with his way of thinking and out of the box ideas. Children think differently compared to adults. And that is because they are not fully into the social pattern of thinking like we become as we grow. We only look at things as everyone does or the way systems are made in the society. Children being innocent and naive works positively when it comes to thinking differently.
Gomathi's 17/8/11:26am - 17/8/1:31pm
Invite ideas from children. Many times, they are too good than parents. So parents, rule out your ego and have discussion with children before taking varied life's decision. Indirectly it also motivates children to be responsible for the family commitments and so.
That is a mom Prerna. However enjoy your trip, girls will be fine with their dad. As always, all the three will make life more interesting by their adventurous skills. Be at now. Cheers, come back with a lot good story about Pondicherry.
Prerna's 12/8/3:33pm - 12/8/5:58pm
Sometimes we think that when we are away from some where we can be like out of sight out of mind. It is the first time i am away from the girls and though i am enjoying here, my thoughts are constantly with the girls..they must be doing this now, they would have had food by now, they would be napping now...they make me complete...
Right Gomathi, i am facing same thing, i have two daughters in teenage, enjoying their teenage but on the other side i am trying to be their guide with friendly behaviour and mother concern.
Gomathi's 31/7/6:54pm - 11/8/10:04pm
By any means, do not hurt children by their weaknesses. Instead give them courage to overcome the same.
Children learn from parents more by watching their behavior. Parents please be aware of this fact.
Parents teach children to fly, but do not be their wings. Let them enjoy their own adventurous journey of life. Stay away blessing them for a successful voyage.
Parents, be firm to go by the righteous path. Children will follow, though not in the immediate future, but promise for sure, in the distant future.
When children are given space to explore themselves, sure they can build their life great. The only work of parents is to watch whether children are in the right track.
Yesterday evening, FIL... MIL... Myself.... Daughter....had a good chat during our snack time at the dining. Inbetween, my mil instructed her grand daughter not to raise voice against mom(myself).....granddauggter convinced her grandma sayings 'me and mom are friends, we usually chat like this, please no worries"......glad that daughter has taken me as her friend. But I am also careful that, the same privilege should not encourage to cross her boundary. All is healthy..... when our thoughts are positive.
Our children will not remember us for the material things we provided them, but the feeling and occasions that we cherished with them.
I strongly feel that instead of beating around the bush, it will be always better to talk it over. Let the children know what danger of risk is in store for them. Let them be prepared for that. When we were small, what our parents told us, we just obeyed. But now, the present generation will not do like what we did - obeying blindly. They want to know the reason. So, we should change the way we have to talk to our children, it should not be the way our parents told us. Inform them with the reason, and our children will understand and will obey without any ill feeling towards the parents.
Prerna's 29/7/12:01pm - 1/8/2:18pm
Many parents hesitate or deem it worthless to talk about sex to their children. If the parents or teachers do not inform the children about sex at the appropriate time, they will get the information from their friends' circle, which may not be the correct one. They learn or get the wrong messages, and these can create a lot of problems in the later stages of their life. Right sex education is a must.
Give unconditional space for children to express themselves. Let the anger, happiness, guilt, worry be given space to be expressed. Dear parents, you are not the cruel ruler of your children, but a true helper, caretaker, friend and a mentor. Do not enforce your wish on them. Let children be allowed to fly free under your care.
Parents of teen children have twin responsibilities. One is being a parent and guarding them, other being a friend and guiding them. But when a parent should be a guard and a guide depends on the need and circumstance.
Allowing children to talk and express their heart...... is the great responsibility of every parent. Let children explore their Self through a good sharing.
Was going through counselling session 76 , and this thought came to my mind, I thought i should share it with my friends.
When i was in college i remember having a lot of heated discussions with my mother regarding sleepovers. She would never give me the permission including at her best friend or my friends as well. I remember my father always coming to pick me up and sometimes waiting outside for the party to end. There were no cell phones those days. The only option was the landline. At that time i used to find my mother very unrelenting and stubborn and remember telling her so many mean things. But life is a full circle.
Recently , my daughters wanted to have a sleepover at their friend's house. And i had the same stand like my mother. "You are my dearies and i will not get sleep without you at home." i told my younger one. I do not know how much of this logic my younger one bought. To the elder one , i said ," It is for your safety and it is a house rule. I do have a reason for my decision and i will let you know when you are slightly older." They are both not 100% convinced and i got the title of "MEANY".
I am happy with this new title as i know when they grow slightly more older they will understand and respect my decision and love me for it as well. Thank u maa.
Many of the parents, especially mothers, keep asking many questions to their daughters as soon as they come back from school to know what all things happened in the school. The parents need not become 'police' to know about it. Just love them and be friendly with them so that they will have the confidence in you. Then, without asking anything, they themselves will tell you everything.
I do agree with you Vinay. Parents who are keen to develop students are less involved in devoting good time for guiding children in the right path. Just changing school will bring no impact, instead parents can live a life of example to children. Children learn more from observing than hearing.
Vinay's 7/7/4:48pm - 22/7/1:11pm
I do respect you view Vinay. Sometimes teachers misguide children by being a bad example in the way of showing partiality, destructing children's self by using unhealthy words....... In that case, parents fails to take the complaints to principal, because the children be cornered from then. Please, your views on this. Thank you.
Vinay's 21/7/3:42pm - 22/7/12:48pm
The prolification of smartphones has made the parenting task even tougher. Every kid on the block nowadays walks flaunting the latest style smartphone. God knows what all they can access under the sun!
Do not talk ill about any of the teachers of your son or daughter in front of them. They will lose the respect towards their teachers. Whatever may be, the teachers are the teachers whom the students should respect.
Peer pressure is the strongest force which the young and inexperienced people find hard to resist. That is the time when growing up children need the parental watchfulness and guidance the most.
It is easy for young people to deviate from the straight path. Once they get derailed it is extremely difficult to put them on back on the right track.
The adolescent time is the most vulnerable for most of the growing people. That is the time when parents have to be watchful. They can be easily derailed during this tempestuous time.
Parents are the role models of the children. That means, whatever the parents tell, the children may not listen, but what the parents do, the children definitely will try to imitate. Therefore it is mandatory for the parents to be extra careful with their behaviour.
Gomathi's 30/6/6:30pm - 7/7/4:51pm
Nowadays the parents want everything instantly. If a child does not study properly in a school, they blame the school and change the student from that school to another one. There they expect that instant result. Education, knowledge, behaviour or discipline cannot be injected to the students, then how do they expect the instant results?
When we are genuine to children, children revert the same. So the behavior of children depends on the way the parents behave to their children.
Communication gap between two generations is never good. That is what happens in most families, when there is no openness in the communications. Parents or guardians fail to understand the emotions of the children when they fail to understand their children. Each person is different and when you try to know that person closely you can say how that person is different from others, the same with children. When you spend enough time knowing them you will understand how unique each one is and the approach towards each will depend on their unique personality.
Vinay's 29/6/3:39pm - 29/6/8:21pm
There was a parent of one of the students of my school who came to me this morning to tell that his daughter did not come to the school for the last two days, but she had left home on both the mornings to come to the school. I asked him about it and found out certain things, and called the girl to me to talk to her.
Very pathetic. She could not come to the school only because of the fact that she was totally depressed the last two days, and so, instead of coming to the school, she went to her elder sister's house to stay there till the evening.
Many parents do not understand their children at all. All think that how their parents made them grow up, they should follow the same pattern of parenting. They don't realise that this generation is a special one, not like ours.
I felt very pity on them!
If a parent can judge from the children's eyes/face, whether they are happy/sad, then such parenting is at it's best.
Well said Gomathi. It is high time that the parents and teachers taught the children the real moral values. Usually it appears only in the time table in the schools and those periods are borrowed by Maths and Science teachers. Parents should teach the moral values to their children through their own behaviour.
Gomathi's 6/6/11:33pm - 11/6/9:48pm
Most of the parents nowadays think that they are good parents only when they give everything their children demand from them. I am surprised sometimes when I see the children having 500 or 2000 rupee notes with them. How casually they carry that amount without realising how hard it was for their parents to earn that. Instead of giving everything the children ask for, it would be nice if the children are taught the value of money. Let them know the struggle that the parents have to earn it.
A proud mom Sir......glad your life is a blessing because of her. Not all mother's encourage their children's heart desires. And I personally, don't want to be one among the crowd. Day after day, the education system here is triggering my inner anger........thinking on the ways to help daughter to live her passion, sooner will be the decision. Thank you Sir for always give a clue in our decision making process.
Savio's 4/6/10:49pm - 7/6/6:02am
Parenting is not only to feed food for the children, but also to feed good thoughts into the mind of children.
Parenting is an art, but to master the art, the parents have to pass through various trials and errors. But, when all hurdles crossed successfully, then parenting is at ease.
Fortunately or unfortunately, a lot of what we are today is due to the manner in which our parents brought us up and the manner in which the teachers taught us. Thanks to my mom's encouragement I took up many public speaking opportunities during my school and college days. When I grew up, all that training and confidence came to good use in my career as I could then teach thousands of others how to speak confidently and effectively in public. God in turn blessed me with such a comfortable life and supportive family. I believe that God favors those who serve society with doing things that empower people to be better and live better lives. At the end of the day, if it wasn't for my mom's encouragement none of this would have happened. I'd probably be a top doctor or engineer like my siblings instead of being in a field that suited me the most.
One of the mistakes all the parents make nowadays is that they try to imitate how their parents brought them up. They don't realise that the times have changed, and the way that we have to bring our children up should not be the same way as our parents brought us up.
I wish I can visit soon to my parents place, due to so much responsibility i am not getting time to go, once all the things settle down i will go for atleast two three days to spent there to recollecting my childhood memories.
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