Dad's Top Diapering Tips

1. Mothers prefer diapers with Disney cartoon characters over those featuring Beavis & Butthead or Itchy & Scratchy.

2. A clean disposable diaper makes a great snow bonnet.

3. The Ride of the Valkyries at high volume can soothe a crying baby during a diaper change.

4 Diapers don't do well in a compost heap, not even if you run them through the mulcher first.

5. Check every trash can in the house daily for dirty diapers, especially the one in your study.

6. If you're ever tempted to swear during a 4:00 a.m. diaper change, turn off the baby monitor first.

7. For a John Cage diapering experience, fire up Brahms' Lullaby on every music box, plush toy and baby mobile you've got.

8. By the time you think to check it, you needn't bother -- the diaper is always wet.

9. Don't expect to ever look at peanut butter the same way again.

10. Beware the dreaded Fountain of Youth.