These are Real Instructions
On a bar of Dial bath bar:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
On a Swanson frozen dinner package:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap box:
Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tirimisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down (Printed on the bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging from a Rowenta Iron.
Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On a bottle of Nytol (a sleeping pill):
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping. Do not use near water.
On an American Airlines package of nuts:
Instructions: Open package, eat nuts.
On a package of fireworks:
"Light fuse and get away!" (Made in China)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
On a package of Sunmaid raisins:
Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?
On a cement mixing truck:
Do Not Drink