Funny One Liners 2

Minds are like parachutes, they only work when open.

Every Titanic has its iceberg.

An honest politician: One who stays bought.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

What's the most popular form of birth control? The headache.

Clean mind, clean body: take your pick.

Whatever advice you give, be brief.

He who laughs last doesn't get the joke.

Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

When in doubt, make it sound convincing.

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

When all else fails, read the directions.

If your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

If reality wants to get in touch with me, it knows where I am.

When forced to choose between two evils, try the new one.

Every human comes equipped with a brain at no extra cost.

To laugh at men of sense is the priviledge of fools.

To save one life s better than to build a seven story pagoda.

There's so much to say, but your eyes keep interrupting me.

There's at least one fool in every married couple.